It is Well......

As I sat in my prayer chair in the early morning this New Year’s Eve, I could hear her sweet voice singing as if she were right next to me. I could hear the stories she would tell me of her life and how Jesus never left her side. My precious Grandmother would always say “Lisa, it is well with my soul....no matter what." And one always knew, it truly was....always well with her soul. Until the day she died, no matter what she faced, her soul walked out peace with her Savior.

Jesus knew I needed to be reminded of this today. My heart was in pity party mode today, not New Year’s party mode. I am a planner, and my big plans for Christmas vacation were a bit altered. I found myself down the entire break with pneumonia. Not in the plan. I began to go down the “Why God?” road, until I played the song my sweet Grandma used to sing. “It is well with my soul”.

This song is about the testimony of a man who experienced a series of life-altering, tragic events. He lost his first son at the age of only four. Then without much of a moment to catch his breath, he also lost his financial livelihood and ability to properly care for his family. Subsequently then just two years later, as his wife and daughters traveled across the seas, the ship they were on sank and all four of his daughters died. His wife, the only survivor, sent the tragic news ahead to him and that she was the only one to make it home to him.

One would think that this man would have been crushed, quite possibly, for the rest of his life. And no doubt his heart grieved for the loss of his children. But the true testament of this man’s character is what his heart posture produced through the process of it all. Take a look at what flowed out from the heart of this man as he then traveled back by ship himself to meet his grieving wife, passing the very area where his daughters had died.

Horatio Spafford penned these words aboard the ship to meet his wife,

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.

But, Lord, ’tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

As I sat listening to the words of this song this morning, I was touched by the determination this man had in cultivating a lasting and intimate relationship with God. It was evident in how he lived his life and how he responded to even the darkest moments in his life. He did not allow his circumstances to dictate to him how he would behave and who he would become; rather, he found his anchor and true identity resting in His relationship with Jesus.

As this year nears its end and we reflect upon all that it has brought our way, may we rest in the peace of God’s embrace and sweetly declare, “It is well with my soul.” For whether it is peace like a river or sorrows like sea billows that we have encountered, even still, in relationship to Him, it is well because we know that God is passionately intentional about causing all things to work together for our good.

Now that’s cause for a celebration! It’s going to be a great 2012!

http://youtu.be/9HLyhEdh92E

Santa Claus and the Finish Line.

I was on mile 3 of the run. I was looking around at the runners beside me thinking to myself, "Boy I love these runs!" Then all at once I felt my left foot begin to go numb. “Oh this is great Lord, please not today, not on this run...not now!” I then knew what would come next.....my leg would go. That’s when I’d get creative and hop until the feeling came back. I knew what to do, I had done it so many times before. It was the Jingle Bell Run, and everyone was dressed up in Christmas costumes. In fact I was delighted to have Santa, the Grinch, and a snowman running with me. But as my speed slowed and the hopping began, Santa asked me if I needed help. “Oh, it will pass...go on without me.” He was an elderly little Santa, (but man could he run!) He didn’t want to leave without helping. So I hopped, and he jogged slowly with me until the feeling came back and I was on my way again.....just minus the snowman and the Grinch.

We had a great talk Santa and I. We talked about the seasons of life. He had struggled with health issues this past year just as I had. We also talked about how God had been faithful through it all. He suffered with a disease called ankylosing spondylitis. I’d heard those words before as I sat on the doctors table being diagnosed with that long word over a year ago....one I couldn’t even pronounce. That’s why he stayed with me on this run. He knew what it was like to hop in races. He’d been there. And he didn’t leave my side. He told me he remembered a race that he literally hopped for a mile until the feeling came back. We laughed at the humorous things that we had gone through. It was so fun to laugh about it.

As we parted ways after the run, I was so thankful for the people God had strategically placed in my life to help me along the way. I also began thinking about this season of life that I am in. Yes there have been some hard blows, really hard blows, but as I sat on the curb catching my breath I realized that God was teaching me how to rest...how to trust...how to have faith like never before. This season was not going to be defined by the hard blows, but by the life changing things God was teaching me about trusting.....and resting in Him.

Someone once said to me that to rest meant I wasn’t trusting...I wasn’t moving. I needed to run this race! Hmmm. I agree that running the race is important...but rest is a part of the race sometimes. A very important part. Sometimes the most important part! Just as I was at a point where I physically could not run in the race today....I had to take a break, hop for awhile, even sit by the curb for a minute...and start back up when my body would let me again. If I hadn’t I would have been run over by the other runners.

The enemy would love to run me over in life. I have seen him try on many occasions this year. I realize that sometimes resting takes practice. I am not a good rester. Those of you who know me, know how true this is. God has had to help me on this one.

I did a study on resting in the presence of God. And I was amazed when I learned that rest can be a weapon! A weapon we use in the battles that the enemy throws in our path to defeat us. It is a sword in our hand. Resting never allows the opposition to dictate how we think or feel. Never. It brings all negativity to a standstill. It has the best jab ever. It has the confidence and the assurance to say “No, you are not coming in.” when the enemy comes knocking.

When we enter into the rest of God, we are at peace within His shadow. The Bible even serves to remind us in 1 Kings 5:4 that God will give rest to us on every side and that there will be no adversary or disaster that will be able to penetrate His great love. He goes before us in every situation to make the crooked paths straight.

So as I sit here thinking about this run today. I have to chuckle. I finished in record time (even with my resting in the middle). And wouldn’t you know, I ran through that finish line with Santa Claus. Does it get better than that? God knew I needed some help today.....and as He always does...He came through once again. Thank you God for rest. Your arms are big, your peace indescribable, and your healing complete.

My prayer is that whatever season you are facing, no matter how insurmountable the hurdles and race you are in may seem....that you find rest. Your miracle is waiting there. I promise...you will not only win the race victoriously....you will cross the finish line in record time! God won’t let you down.

Yes Lord, I'll serve you......even in a chicken suit!

She looked up at me with sparkling eyes and said “I love you chicken lady! And I sure love your dog!” She then leaned over and kissed my cheek, and Holly even got a kiss too! My heart was full and in a million years I never dreamed I’d be here.....in a chicken suit with my dog singing songs with a group of senior citizens. But I was not surprised....only amazed at how God answers prayer.

I cannot begin to tell you the countless stories of God’s provision in my life this year. But I honestly think the most profound of that provision came when I wanted to help others, and needed a financial miracle to help it happen. I have learned to never underestimate God’s answers. And never be surprised....His provision can come in the most unexpected ways. (Even in comical ways.....go figure!)

My precious friend and I had coffee one day and the tears were flowing. She was hurting and my heart was breaking with her. She had lost her job and was overwhelmed. We prayed together and as I hugged her tight.... under my breath I was saying to God, “Oh Lord, I wish I had some money to help her.” “I wish I could do something!” I didn’t feel a bolt of thunder roll or a mighty wind swoosh through with a miracle, but I can tell you.....God heard our hearts cry that day, and He began to answer both of our prayers. I remember driving home with a heart of continued prayer for my friend, and I heard the Lord just whisper to my heart, “are you willing Lisa?” Willing Lord? I am always willing to serve and help you Lord!” Little did I know what He had in store.....to answer my prayer.... to help my friend.

It all began with my chicken suit. That chicken suit I have in my closet that I love to wear in the winter because it is so warm and cozy. Do I look ridiculous? Yes. But I love my warm chicken suit. It somehow makes me smile on those "hard to smile" days. So why was I surprised a chicken suit would be involved in God’s answer to my prayer?

The phone rang one day and it was one of my friends who was laughing at a picture she saw of me on facebook wearing my chicken suit. She said to me “there is no way you would ever wear that thing out is there?” Are you kidding? Of course I would! She is involved in children’s ministry and is a precious friend. She said to me “Lisa, I will give you $100.00 if you wear that suit to Starbucks and have coffee!” “I said to her....”You know I will do this, why are you going to pay me?” And her reply was “Lisa, sometimes God works in mysterious ways.” I started to challenge her and was immediately stopped as the Lord reminded me of the prayer I prayed....” I wish I had money to bless my friend....” This was His answer for me to help! I could give that $100.00 to my friend to help her!

Well you can finish the rest of the story I am sure. That one visit to starbucks in my chicken suit was the open door to provision to help my friends. I had a precious lady ask me if I would ever come to a nursing home or a hospital in my chicken suit with my service dog. She knew I had Holly because she had seen me there before with her. Of course I would! God was opening doors out of the blue, as only He can open! This was amazing and hilarious at the same time! A chicken lady with a service dog....that most definitely is creative Lord. Well it turns out that this combination brings smiles to many hearts. How can one not laugh at the picture of it all? Isn’t God just so creative?

As I sit here today writing this blog, I have tears in my eyes as I think about how He provided the money for me to give to others. I was able to help some dear friends in ways I otherwise could not. I didn’t have the resources, but He did! And He knew the reward I would receive was not about the money I was blessed with to help others, but the heart blessing I received because of it. How can you put a price on the smiles I saw, the hugs I received, the laughs I laughed with people, and the prayers I got to pray with those hurting? You can’t....no price can be put on that.

I have learned to never put God in a box. He will far surpass the limitations I put on Him. He’s bigger, He’s more creative, He’s always one step ahead of me. Weather you are one in need, or one who wants to help, I challenge you to just ask. Just ask Him for help. Ask Him for the provision you need. He will help you in ways you never dreamed. And I promise you.....you will have fun on the journey. More fun than you ever imagined! Take it from the chicken lady with a service dog....it's a journey that will change your life!

Overwhelmed or overshadowed....you decide.

As I was running very early this morning, what was usually a very quiet run, was filled with the sound of cars, and traffic. It was 6:30 am! Then the two words hit me. “Black Friday!” Wow. One neighbor was running frantically out of her house, yelling...”Hurry up, we are late!” Her coffee was spilling everywhere as she tried to open the car door. Her teenage son looked at her and said “Mom, this is so not fun.” His arms were folded and he was not about to have a good day. I waved as I went by and she said to me “Oh how I hate the holidays!”

I began thinking to myself about the holiday season. To many this holiday is a difficult one. What may be Christmas carols and Christmas baking to one person, may mean sitting at a hospital for another, or dealing with the death of a loved one, a marriage, or even feeling like a dream has died. To some it may bring great memories, to others....memories that bring raw feelings to the surface that are easily buried during the year, yet rise to the surface during the holiday season.

Then I began to think about my own stresses, and how God was dealing with me. If there is one thing God is showing me how to do more when I am completely overwhelmed, when every task is too daunting, and problems seem insurmountable....it is to go to the deep place with Him. I don’t have to shout out “Lord, I am having a pity party now....a little help please?” He’s already at the party and knows exactly what I am doing. It is in that place that I hear Him remind me “Lisa when you are overwhelmed, remember....you are overshadowed!” I am under His wings! And as I rest in His presence, under those mighty wings, that peace that passes all understanding wraps around me like a warm blanket and fills me with the hope that I can make it through anything! Anything! And believe me, there have been many “anythings” this year. Those wings have been there as my comforter. And there were days I needed Him to be my helper, my healer, and my friend. He’s been them all.

My prayer for my friends and family this holiday season is that when that overwhelming feeling presses in.... remember that you are overshadowed! When we put on the garment of praise under His wings, heaviness disappears. In fact it is easy to forget what we were overwhelmed about in the first place when we are under those wings in an attitude of praise. I have seen it work this year in ways I can’t even describe. Through health situations I thought I could not even face.....He overshadowed me. Through journeys I faced with questions....He overshadowed me. He will do the same for you. Enjoy this holiday season knowing you are in a very safe place where His arms won’t let go. What a wonderful place to be, under the shadow of the almighty. Makes it easy to focus on the one who gave us life. That’s what it’s all about anyway.

A Christmas lesson learned.....in the checkout line.

“You are getting those? Are you kidding me? How can you do that? It’s way too early!” Yes, those were the words I received, with a look of distain to go with it, as I was standing in line to check out. I felt like I should be wearing a helmet in case objects were thrown at me. And what exactly did I have that was setting this dear lady into a rage? I had tinsel and ribbon for the Christmas tree. I not only had a lady who was mad at my purchase, but a line of 8 people ahead of me! This was going to be a very long wait. Would I live through it? Would I have any missing body parts after I got checked out?

I was a bit thrown back on this one, but now, I understand why I had a very long wait ahead of me. God knew exactly what He was doing. As I stood there, I looked around at the packed store and I saw sad faces everywhere. I saw people mad and angry at the crowd and the long wait. I even saw a couple in the next line over arguing about the fact that Christmas trees were up and it was a tragedy to start the holidays so early. I thought, “wow, if they see what’s in my cart, I will not make it out of here alive!” It made my heart sink. Should I run, hide, duck for cover?

I am one of those people, yes I will admit, that decorates my Christmas tree November 1st! Some years it’s decorated on Halloween! I can hear things being thrown at me now. I LOVE the holidays! I love putting that tree up every year. I am the one belting out Michael Buble’ Christmas tunes the first of November. And the one who has tinsel in my cart at the store while everyone else is buying their Halloween candy. Many have asked “what is wrong with you Lisa!” Good question!

As I was standing in line, the Lord took me down Memory Lane! I began the journey in my mind of all the Christmas seasons in my life. The seasons were filled with many memories! There were some years we faced many trials. Some years there was loss. There were the years I faced it as a single Mom, not by choice, and wondered how we would even have a Christmas. The years of my Mom’s fight with cancer, and my battle with my own health issues. But even through those trials, what a joy the Christmas season was! I began thinking about it all. What made those difficult Christmas seasons happy?

Growing up, no matter what, my Mom and Dad made it about Jesus. No matter what the circumstance, it was about family, giving, and love. I will never forget the Christmas they announced that we would be giving our Christmas to a family that could not have a Christmas of their own. I remember my reaction. “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” I know, I wish I could say I danced around with glee at this news. I will say this though, when I saw that single Mother and those 4 children open their gifts that Christmas, and eat the meal we prepared, and help us decorate the tree we put up for them.....my life changed. My Christmas was redefined. I don’t think my Mom and Dad know how deeply that Christmas impacted my life. I was only in Jr. High during that Christmas, but it was then that it all made sense to me. This is what the Christmas season was all about. This was what it should be like all year long.

As I was driving home one day, my daughter and I began talking about the Christmas season. She was working on math, and she looked over at me and said “Mom, I think people need to learn about Christmas banking.” “I think that if they realized it was not about purchasing but investing, they would not think it had become so about money and purchasing gifts.” By george, I think she’s got it! We came to the conclusion that Christmas is only as materialized as we make it. I actually had tears rolling down my face by the time we had reached the house. It was about investing. Investing in the lives of others, investing in things that matter and are eternal. Those gifts may not fill the room with wrapping paper and boxes, they fill it with things that last an eternity, and are investments into the kingdom of heaven!

My husband and I made an announcement to the kids a few weeks ago that we decided to have a Christmas without purchases. It would be about investing this year, like the Christmas that changed my life when I was young. I thought I would get the same reaction I gave my parents years ago.....”ARE YOU KIDDING?” And quite frankly braced myself for their reaction. Boy was I surprised. I remember hearing, “Hey, let’s make new traditions! Let’s make a Christmas brunch together!....”Let’s make our gifts this year!”....and the ideas were flowing. (and I was running for the kleenex) Seeing the smiles, hearing the laughter that day on the 1st week of November, with the tree up and lighted.....my Christmas had been made, two months early.

I made it to the front of the line, and by this time had a smile on my face. For in that 20 minutes of waiting, I realized even more how thankful I was to be celebrating the one who invested His life for me. I left that store with not only tinsel for the Christmas tree but with a new perspective, and a new excitement for this season. And yes, I belted my Michael Buble’ tunes all the way to the car. And I even saw a little smile come over the face of the lady who was angry at me in line as I was leaving. Amazing what God can teach us, even in the checkout line at a store. He invests so much into my life everyday, now it’s my turn.

Today God sent a miracle my way. Her name was Emily.

I was so honored to be asked to help with a special needs gym class today with Holly (my service dog in training). These children are not disabled, that word just doesn’t describe these children. They are some of the most abled children I have ever met. There was one little girl named Emily who wanted to run around the track so badly with all the others, but went very slow because of her crutches and could never make it around. We found a way! Holly walked beside her and the little girl leaned on Holly the entire way for extra support. At times Emily would stop and just wrap her arms around Holly and kiss her on the head. Holly was in heaven, and the connection between these two had me wiping tears. Holly worked like she has never worked before. It was like she was one with this precious child. The smile on Emily’s face was as big as the smile on Holly’s face. It was the first time Emily ever made it around that track! When we finished, the little girl grabbed my hand and said “Mrs. Lisa, do you know that Holly loves Jesus?” Choked up I got out a “why yes she does!” Then she said, “Mrs. Lisa, you love Jesus too!, do you know how I know?” I replied....”How?” And those big blue eyes looked up at me and said, “because I see your hearts, and there’s sunshine in there....that’s where Jesus lives....isn’t that neat?” “Mrs. Lisa, I love Jesus too! He makes me happy everyday!” OK, so by now I am in one of those ugly cries...you know where you are gasping for air? I hugged that sweet little girl with everything I had, and Holly did too! She had no idea how deeply she had just blessed my heart. After a morning with these precious children....I honestly don’t think my heart could be any more full. And I honestly love Jesus with a more wild abandon love than ever because of what Emily taught me. How could one be around a child like Emily and not want to love Jesus more? I asked her teacher if she was always this happy. And her reply was “She’s the light of the classroom”. Her disability hinders her the most physically, but her spirit makes up for it all. I have never seen anyone more alive and happy and abled in my life. I have thought about Emily all day.

It is days like these that remind me of how much I want to run from negativity, drama and strife. I want to focus on what really matters and never waste a second of this life. It is but a vapor, so very short. As Emily said I want to live in the sunshine where Jesus lives, and I want to make the moments matter. On the way home I looked over at Holly, and she looked at me with that angelic grin that only Holly can give, and I knew she was feeling that same joy I was. It was definitely a day full of sunshine! We were both basking in it together......

Can I do this Lord? The journey I faced as a single mom.

I remember the day like it was yesterday.....that drive from Texas to Tulsa almost 20 years ago....with 2 babies. My son just a few months old, and my daughter just 22 months old. It was just the three of us now. In her sweet little voice, my daughter whispered to me “Mommy, are we going bye bye?” My heart broke. As my parents drove the van, I sat in the back seat and hung onto my babies for dear life. My world had literally stopped. How could I raise them alone? They were babies! How could we have been left? Why? How could he leave us? My husband had chosen an affair over his family and now, I had to pick up the pieces...I had no choice. Of course my self esteem was shattered with all the feelings one has when an affair occurs. But I can only say that it was at that moment, when I passed the Oklahoma state line, that my world changed, forever. I heard the still small voice of the Holy Spirit whisper to my heart....”I will carry you now Lisa. I will take you to new places with your children that you never dreamed possible, and I will open doors.....I will heal and I will guide and teach you things that will change your life forever....don’t let go of your dream.” Don’t let go of my dream? What? But Lord, my dream was shattered? He saw much further than I did, and He knew the dream He had placed in my heart all along. He wanted to bring it to pass. It was my job to let Him. It was my job to give Him the brushes and let Him paint the new picture on this blank canvas before me....with my babies. Little did I know it would be more than just a picture, it would be a masterpiece.

I remember those days like they were yesterday. Working two jobs, getting those babies up everyday and getting them to school. I remember being so tired that my toenails even hurt, and knowing I had to get the kids home, get homework done, get dinner on the table, and spend quality time with them. I remember the pressure of making it financially on my own. I remember the lonliness when the kids were all in bed and it was just me.

You know what is amazing though? When I look back on those years of single parenting now, and I see the picture God was painting all along, I stand in amazement. It was at that very moment of being left and alone and clutching onto Jesus with every fiber of my being that taught me the greatest lessons that I still lean on to this day. And what exactly can one learn from being left with 2 small babies to raise?

I learned that 2 Corinthians 12:9 is true. He pours out His grace in proportion to what we need. And I needed a truck load of grace. He cared so deeply for me and saw my extreme need for Him as His opportunity to provide. And He had more than enough grace to walk me through this journey. We were tucked safely under His wings. And He was not letting go.

I learned how to forgive. Oh this was a biggie for me. My children could pick up on the angry feelings I had and carried. I will go so far as to say I not only walked through anger, I walked through rage. I was mad! When I wanted to speak badly of their father, I knew I couldn’t. He was still their father. God literally took my hand on this one and step by step peeled away the layers of unforgiveness until I walked in freedom. I could not have done it without the Holy Spirit guiding me every step of the way. There is freedom in forgiveness. I knew the second that weight was lifted off of my shoulders, I had forgiven. I could breathe! I realized that forgiveness can be a daily journey though. When tempted to take that anger back on, God was there to take it for me.....daily. There were some days on that journey I literally had to say, Jesus, right now I can’t do this, can you? And He would take it from there. The Holy Spirit became real to me in ways that forever changed my life. When in my own strength I couldn’t, He could. 2 Corinthians 12:10

I learned how important getting involved in a great home church really is. Not only was it a place for healing for me but I realized that I could be used by God even in my broken state! We were in church when the doors opened, and we were involved. I developed friendships that were healthy and life long. My children were involved and loving it! Singing on the praise and worship team was instrumental in so much of my healing. We were surrounded with love and support, and this was literally a life line for us. God used that church to help us in more ways that I can even express.

I learned that there is laughter and joy, even in the hard times. One day, feeling overwhelmed, I started to cry. I cried one of those “ugly” cries where you can hardly breathe. I got a glimpse of myself in the mirror and how my face was all shriveled up like a prune, and how ridiculous I looked. It cracked me up! I went from uncontrollable tears to uncontrollable laughter! My kids came in and we just laughed! In fact I could not even remember why I was crying in the first place. It was at that moment that I realized that I could laugh! It was healing! And I could teach my children how to laugh! I remember funny dances we would make up together, silly songs we would sing, bible verses we would memorize with hand motions, cookies we would bake with silly faces.....and laughter filled the house. And you know what my kids remember to this day most? The laughter and the love in our home. And when we talk about that love and laughter during that season, it gets me every time. They remember it with detail.

Laughter is healing. And I learned that even when my heart was breaking, I could laugh, and the joy of the Lord really would be my strength. Many have asked me how I find laughter in tough journeys. I found it during this season of my life. It was what got me through. This kind of laughter comes from the soul, where Jesus has a grip. There really is no adjective to describe it. It carried us through the journey then, and it carries us through our journey now.

I think the biggest thing I learned through this journey was to not let go of my dream. Even though it seemed the dream was crushed, it was not. God was just going to find a different way to bring that dream into fruition. Trust me, He will blow your mind. Just don’t let go! Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy that you will never see that dream come to pass. As I gave the Lord those brushes to paint my masterpiece, He did! And what a masterpiece He painted! I have 4 children and a daughter in law now who are all passionate for Jesus, a husband who was sent from heaven, and 3 dogs who, yes, are also part of that beautiful picture! I look at that dream everyday in awe and wonder and thankfulness. I also remember those things I learned in the 10 years I walked through the journey of single parenting. I could not have made that journey without Jesus.

To all my dear friends walking through the journey of single parenting, I want to encourage you! There is hope! There is laughter! There is strength! There are miracles! There is a dream to be fulfilled! There is a masterpiece in the making! Just let go of the brushes and watch Him paint! I promise you, you will be amazed! Van Gogh and Divinci have nothing on what God is painting for you and your children.