As I drove my Mother to her hair appointment today, my mind couldn’t help but go back to where I was driving exactly 1 year ago. We were on our way to the hospital...only a few feet away from where we were going for her hair appointment today. It was the beginning of one of the hardest journeys my family would ever take. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember hearing the words I prayed I would never hear....and I was the first to hear them. “Your Mother has cancer.” I felt like I was having an out of body experience....it was heart wrenching. I remember having to tell my Father. That day was the hardest day of my life. I also remember the day that my Mother lost all of her hair because of chemotherapy. It fell out on Easter, and my father shaved her head. They did it together, and her comment was....”Jesus rose today, and my hair will rise again too!” She never wavered. I never once heard my Mother utter a complaint, but I ached for her, because I knew it had to be so hard. She loved her dark hair and colored that gray the second she saw any. I always told her to let it go to her natural color. I knew she would look beautiful. She couldn’t stand the thought of having gray hair. My what a year can bring. And my oh my.... how perspectives and priorities can change in an instant!
As we drove together we began to talk. How precious her words are to me. She is my inspiration. She inspires me everyday and is the reason I even put my thoughts on paper.....and blog. She said to me today, “Lisa, I wish I could blog, and write beautiful words of how I feel....” She went on to say “I would write about my hair.” I would write about how losing my dark head of hair, and it being resurrected to the most beautiful gray frost ever.... showed me God’s love in ways I never dreamed.” As she sat there beaming, that beautiful head of hair, styled, and so gorgeous she went on to say.....”Jesus cared about my hair, Lisa, He gave me....a thicker, more beautiful head of hair!” In fact He did one better and gave me a “heavenly frost!” He walked me through my healing of cancer, and He cared about the little things as well...even my hair!” As we walked out of the hair salon, the precious lady who cut her hair said with a smile in her voice... “Do you know how much money people would pay to have that color of hair?” We smiled at each other.....yep, it’s the little things.
I have to say I have never seen my Mother more happy, more beautiful, and more active in life than she is right now. We started talking about God’s attention to every detail. Many times we miss those details because we are so focused on the big problems. My Mother has taught me to catch every little miracle, because sometimes they can be just as important as the big answers. And she is right! Many times in my discouragement, if I would just look a little harder, a miracle was standing right there in front of me. Little miracles like how I was protected, how God gave me favor in a situation, put me in the right place at the right time, gave me the right doctor for a surgery, and provided unexpected little financial miracles I might have overlooked if I was not looking for them. God’s little miracles have even been not answering some of my prayers....His answers turned out to be better! Who’da thought! On my worst day, when I really look closely....God was there. I just had my eyes on the wrong things. My Mom has taught me to pray and expect great things with my eyes, not on my difficulties, but on God. Amazing how that changes things.
My mom’s words once again, bring such joy to my soul. Every time I leave my mother from a day with her, or from a minute with her...I leave a better person. We walked through many surgeries together this year, many chemo appointments together, and many doctor’s visits. Her joy permeated every second. We have laughed, cried, and prayed together harder than we ever have this year. I don’t know what is ahead, but my Mother has taught me, whatever comes my way....God will take care of the big things, and the little things. My joy comes straight from His heart to mine....even on the hardest of days.
Yes, my Mother was right....as she always is. God gave her what He promised. She is walking in her healing, and this Easter she has the most beautiful head of hair again. It indeed was resurrected just as she said it would be. He paid attention to every single detail of her life....Guess you could say it was a “Hair Raising, Perspective changing” year for our family. It doesn’t get better than that.
I loved this so much. I wasn't wanting to necessarily cry at work, but more wonderful, encouraging, hopeful words I haven't read in such a long while. You are a dear inspiration. And it's true - gray only grows - you can't color it that way.
ReplyDeletelove you!