Home Sweet Home

I just read my sister’s blog.....she amazes me. Her blog was about “home”. I was sitting there reading it shouting “yes!” I think this time of year really hits “home” for a lot of people. What is home? I have to quote my sister on this one because I feel exactly the same way she does:

Home is an important place--especially when it's cold outside. It's somewhere that I know I'll be warm and safe, but it's more than that. It's where my family is. It's a place where I can hang around in my pajamas, forget about putting on makeup and no one will vote me off the island. I have a lifetime membership with this clan--warts and all.”

I remember as a little girl going to camp. I was so homesick I thought I would die! I remember the embarrassment of having the camp counselor call my parents to come and pick me up. It was humiliating but I will never forget laying in the back seat after they picked me up, and feeling complete peace.... knowing I was going home. It was worth the embarrassment. To this day I have the expression “I am having one of those I want to go home from camp moments”.

As precious as my home is to me, I am realizing more and more that home is truly where my heart is. Our family has faced a multitude of transitions and hurdles this year. Seeing my son move to Nashville and my sister move to Canada were big hurdles for me. Mom’s cancer, Skipper’s retirement, and my health issues this year caused our family to go through even more transition. At one point I felt like this was the worst season of my life. I felt like I had been punched in the gut and couldn’t breathe! I was having a “camp” moment. I felt lost!

Then the Lord so sweetly showed me that it wasn’t these times that defined my home....it was His presence in my heart that was my defining “safe place”.

This time of year can bring “home” to a whole new light. Family and home can represent complete joy and safety for some, while for others it represents pain, abandonment, hopelessness and loneliness. I have a burden on my heart to pray for those who are hurting during this time of year. I know God wants to be that safe place and redefine “home” for them.

One of my favorite songs is by Bryan Duncan, “When I think of home”. Here is one of the verses:

“There’s a saying: your home is where your heart is....My heart believes its true,

and my home’s so far away. But the seasons and the scenery keep changing, So I’ll make my home with you, ‘Til I’m finally home to stay.

When I think of home, When I’m tired and feeling homeless, I come to you....

You’re where my heart is.

I will end on this quote from my sister......it says it all.

Family is powerful. It's the vessel that God chose to usher Jesus into the world when it was very cold and dark outside. Even though Jesus is now preparing a forever-home for me in heaven, His Spirit lives inside of me here on earth and I'm never separated from His presence. No matter what changes, no matter where I go, the presence of God is always with me. That's my real home--that's my happy place.

I want to post my sister’s blog address: Her blogs are amazing...

I often steal quotes from her. Thank you Julie! I want to be like you when I grow up!

http://prayervitamins.blogspot.com/

Heaven came to visit today.....

The holiday season always brings me such joy. I am always taken back to the days when I was a little girl and my grandma would be baking away in the kitchen. She always had a pot of boiled custard, peanut brittle, and divinity in the making. I remember she always had straight pins in her collar where she could easily get to them as she sewed missions clothes for the little children who had none. But today the memory that stood out in my mind was a song she would hum. She hummed many songs under her breath everyday. She loved the Gaither’s. I used to call those songs she sang “old people songs”. But today....it was one of those “old people songs” that brought heaven very close. I think heaven is closer than we realize. Days like today, I am convinced of it. The pain from this surgery has been more than I expected. It’s been a time of complete surrender to the Lord to know....He’s got it....He will take it for me...and I can rest. Feeling a little discouraged with the recovery process....I plugged in my ipod this morning before I started reading and a song came on....did I put it on there? I didn’t remember doing so. But immediately the harmony resounded.....oh that beautiful harmony that is rarely heard these days in songs anymore....it was my Grandma’s favorite song.

Shackled by a heavy burden,

'Neath a load of guilt and shame.

Then the hand of Jesus touched me,

And now I am no longer the same.

He touched me, Oh He touched me,

And oh the joy that floods my soul!

Something happened and now I know,

He touched me and made me whole.

Since I met this blessed Savior,

Since He cleansed and made me whole,

I will never cease to praise Him,

I'll shout it while eternity rolls.

He touched me, Oh He touched me,

And oh the joy that floods my soul!

Something happened and now I know

He touched me and made me whole.

I smiled as I sang this song over and over and over....I know Grandma was singing with me. And I know she was smiling at me as I sang at the top of my lungs this “old people song” I used to tease her about.

This year has opened my eyes to so many things in the heavenly realm. When faced with the fragility of life, and how quickly things can change.....it’s that complete surrender to Jesus....that brings us so close to His heart that you can feel His breath on your face. I have had many friends walk through tragedy this year....I have seen hearts break. But at the other side of it all, I have seen heaven come down in ways I never dreamed possible.

I closed my eyes after the song was over.....took a deep breath, and then realized.....I could take a deep breath. Before the song....it was too painful. I breathed the deepest breath I could breathe and filled my lungs with air that didn’t hurt! I wiped the tears away.....knowing that in this few minutes singing.....heaven really visited me today....in my room, with my Grandma....and angels were singing with her. His healing touch.....His healing presence.....left me speechless.

He touched me, Oh He touched me,

And oh the joy that floods my soul!

Something happened and now I know

He touched me and made me whole.

Jesus Loves Me....this I know.

Once again I am sitting in my bed with my laptop recovering from hopefully my last surgery! I have my dogs snuggled up with me and a husband that is the best nurse ever! I am thankful.

This journey has been quite a journey. And you know I can look back through this year and see God’s handprints all over the place. We are never promised a tomorrow, and I have realized more than ever to savor every second of today. God’s peace is there in the dark places. Many of my friends have faced tragedies this year, and I have seen God meet them in such a precious way. It truly is the peace that passes all understanding. What would we do without that precious peace! Peace is not the absence of affliction, but the presence of God.

We are entering the holiday season.....my favorite time of year. I am one of those people who decorate very early. Nothing like eating Thanksgiving dinner by the Christmas Tree! Since I had this surgery so early, I decorated even earlier than usual. I had the most precious friend help me. Emma Hardin, you made decorating day a day I will never forget! I finally found someone who loves the holidays as much as I do! Fun, joy, baking, decorating, and silly dances filled the day! I am so thankful.

I have had a lot of time to reflect, and pray during all this recovery time. It’s been so good for me. I have fallen in love with Jesus in a whole new way. I will not think of 2010 as a year of hard journeys, but as a year where I saw Jesus in ways I never dreamed. It was a year of seeing huge miracles. But mostly it was a year where I felt His presence in the midst of the storm.

They said when I came out of anesthesia this time from surgery I had my arms up in the air and was singing “Jesus loves me”. Yep, peace is not the absence of affliction but the presence of God. How many times have I sung Jesus loves me throughout my life? Many. But this year the reality of how very much He truly loves me....soaked in.

He loves me enough to carry me when I can’t walk, see for me when my sight is blurred, dance over me with singing, when I can’t dance. He lifts me up when I can’t jump the hurdles, carries me when I am under anesthesia and holds me close, and blesses me with such beautiful friendships to pray with me and be an extension of His arms when I need them. I have learned that some days when there is not a song in my heart....sing anyway. Jesus always gives me a new song to sing.

Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.....Little ones to him belong...they are weak but He is strong......Yes Jesus loves me....Yes Jesus loves me...

Yes Jesus loves me....the Bible tells me so.

Sing that song today.....sometimes it’s the simple little things, that make profound differences in our heart. Jesus loves you.....really really loves you!

As I sat on the doctor's table realizing my shoes didn't match....I just laughed. A year ago, that would have sent me running home to get the right ones on my feet. But now? Nahhh I think I'll go with it all day. I have learned to not sweat the small stuff this year. Mismatching shoes would definitely fall into that category. As the doctor came in to check me out, I saw the grimace on his face when he looked at me. I was like "Ok, God....it's small stuff right?" He said I was not healing correctly and he would give it a few more weeks to keep doing what he was doing to fix it, but if it was not doing better....more surgery. But wait! I have another surgery in November before Thanksgiving! That would mean 4 surgeries in 3 months. I want to be in the fruit of the month club, not surgery of the month club! I sat there looking at him and I just laughed. Didn't know what else to do! I heard the Lord whisper in my ear...."regroup or regret Lisa...you have a choice." HUH? That didn't make sense to me. But now it does. I am a planner! And I love the holidays so much it is not even funny. I start decorating for Christmas November 1st! This was not in my plans! In fact this messed up my plans! It was then I realized....I don't want to regret the things I do in life and the choices I make. I want to savor the seconds because it can all change so fast. I don't want regrets. I needed to regroup.

I looked at my calendar, layed hands on it and prayed. "Lord....if the things on this calendar go as planned...Hooray! If they do not, you plan them out in a way that will be glorious! The plans may change, but it will all be good. I will trust you." If surgery is on your calendar for me to get well....so be it. If you choose to heal me miraculously....Hooray again! I trust you. COMPLETELY trust you.

This year of Mom's cancer journey and my surgery journey......no words can adequately describe. Growth in ways I never expected. Relationship with Jesus like I never knew before. Amazing things can happen in truly dark places. His light makes those dark places so brilliant. There are things seen there that we would never see otherwise.

So as I walked out of the Dr's. office with my mismatched shoes on....I smiled to myself, knowing God has it all in His hands. I felt His sweet presence. I have learned that peace is not the absence of affliction, but the presence of God. I felt peace.

I am planning on decorating for Christmas November 1st, and I am planning fun parties with the kids. If God has other plans....I know they will be amazing! He has never let me down. His calendar is filled with glorious things for me! If it took this journey to get me to this place with Him.....it was worth it.

Now, up to the attic to start unloading the Christmas wreaths! YES!

Heavenly Novocaine

Whoever questions whether there is a God or not and how amazing his power is, should have been on my run with me this morning with Holly. We started our run and about 10 minutes into it Holly got in front of me and braced (what service dogs do when a partner is needing support to get up) I almost fell over her. She never does this on our runs. I was frustrated at her after about the 5th time she did it. Why was she doing this? It was out of her character! It then occurred to me that she may be trying to get me to turn around for some reason. Was she warning me? So I turned around and sure enough down the street came a HUGE german shepherd and a pit bull. They were coming straight for us. As they got closer I saw foam out of both of their mouths and teeth showing. Uh, not a good sign. You know, it is in moments like these you wet your pants and then your life flashes before your eyes. I felt an adrenaline rush like never before and I pushed Holly behind me and I was going to take them on! Uh, another yeh right.

I looked quickly around all sides for their owners, I thought about running, no time....we were stuck. Holly got back in front of me as soon as I pushed her behind. She was trying to protect me with everything in her. I finally was the one in front when the german shepherd went around to her head and got her neck in his teeth. The pit bull got her from behind. I started kicking and pulling....and knew this was not going to end well. One of us was going to be chewed up! They had a grip of death on Holly and they were not going to let go. Then all of the sudden I just yelled as loud as I could....IN THE NAME OF JESUS, LET GO NOW!!!! JESUS HELP ME PLEASE! And believe me, the neighborhood heard that scream. I think all of heaven and earth heard that scream. All of the sudden the dogs dropped. OK, now when I say they dropped, it was like they were shot with Novocaine. Like nothing I’d ever seen. By this time my legs were shaking so hard Holly really WAS holding me up. She was calm, she was now in front of me braced. I was saying under my breath....about a million “thank you jesus’s....” We stepped over the dogs...and we ran like we never ran before. I got to the curb and checked Holly out...she was not bleeding, her hips were ok. That alone was a miracle! A neighbor ran down to meet me and said it was a miracle we made it out of that one alive. She asked me how I got the dogs down. I said “did you hear my scream to Jesus? Well it worked!” Her mouth was hanging open.

I looked down the street and the dogs had been retrieved by 2 people. They were on leashes now and kind of wobbly. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Oh, if I could have seen from heaven’s point of view all that was happening at that very moment....it would have blown my mind! God’s hand, His angels, His arms.......protecting all the way....stopping those dogs in their tracks and laying them down. Thank God for heavenly novocaine! I have thought about this event all morning long. I have thought about how immediately at the mention of the name of Jesus....He was there. I have replayed it over and over and over in my head.

Holly is laying under my feet as I type this. She was my brave angel today....she tried to warn me many times to turn around, but I didn’t. Next time....I’ll heed the warnings.

God’s faithfulness blows me away. His protection, His provision, His miracles to be there through it all....are mind boggling. I had a conversation with a person the other day who was a friend of a friend. He was challenging me of God’s existence. We talked for hours! I truly believe if that young man had been with me today. There would be no question in his mind.

"Shall we dance?"

It’s been 8 weeks! Eight weeks since my surgery and I got the Dr.’s “OK” to run again! My running shoes were beckoning me to get out there again and get back to my normal daily runs. As I tied up the shoe laces anticipating that great adrenaline rush I had not felt for 8 weeks, I realized I had a new outlook on it all. A new excitement to just enjoy!

As I began the run....I got so excited to be out there again, I just began to do a victory dance as I ran. My arms up in the air, a skip to my step, and a few turns with some groove moves here and there kept me going....:) I heard a voice in the distance say “MOMMY, what’s wrong with that lady?” I knew this little girl’s mother, and heard her mother come out to see, and replied with a chuckle to her daughter “Carly, that’s just Lisa....she does happy dances!” I slowed down to listen to this conversation and heard Carly ask if she could do one too! By this time I was by her mother and said I’d love Carly to join me! So we danced.....and we danced, and we DANCED! And passers by were quite amused....one little old man walking by even waved his cane around with a groove like none I’d seen. By the time it was all done we had a group of neighbors, laughing, and dancing their own jig with us! Some quite hilarious, but that made it all the more wonderful!

On my run home from my wonderful dance with Carly....I felt the smile of Jesus just radiating....He was dancing too! You see....as I look back on that dance in my neighborhood....he brought to my attention....”Lisa, think on all those dancing with you.....” I stopped in my tracks.....I knew all of the neighbors dancing. One lady was a precious care taker of her terminally ill husband; one just said goodbye to her son going to Iraq; one had a prosthesis from an injury from the war, and was dancing away as best he could; one lady just lost her mother; one man had just had a heart attack 2 months earlier and was struggling with depression. I knew every single one of these people....and their stories all filled with such HUGE hurdles.....They made my hurdles look so small.

When I got home I had a message on my phone from the lady taking care of her husband. I speak with her frequently. She thanked me for the dance. She said she got a glimmer of how we need to dance in the dark times, and thank God for the little things in life. It may just be a little dance....but it’s a dance. It’s a light that can spread in a dark situation. She was crying at this point......and so was I. We had a chance to pray together on the phone. I just love her so much! Once again.....God teaches me.

Look at what one dance can do! Do I look for those dances in the dark times? It’s been a summer of many hurdles for our family. From my Mother’s cancer, to my health scare and surgery, to saying some hard goodbyes, and seeing my sister move to Canada. These were hurdles, but the lessons I have learned I would not trade for the world. I have learned to dance! And I am learning how to dance over hurdles. I may not win a track competition for hurdles, but I know I would have more fun than anyone else in the competition! Isn’t that what God would love us all to grasp onto anyway? It’s not about the journey....it’s about how we go through that journey that makes us stronger! Jesus gives us the “dance”! He gives us the grace to hurdle in spite of how high that hurdle is. Loneliness, Pain, Rejection, Disease, Grief, Anger, Broken marriages, A lost loved one, Addiction, Low Self-Esteem, whatever that hurdle is.....God

not only has a way over that hurdle, but one that will even surprise you! I am learning that the biggest hurdle in my life is really not so big when Jesus is right there on the other side ready to catch me. If I don’t eloquently dance, or leap over it....if I fall flat on my face....He catches me and finishes the race with me.....dancing! I finish victoriously!

There are days I have no dance in my step.....days I would love to give up and have a pity party...but I have found that all it takes is putting one step in front of the other, crying out to Jesus for His help, and He takes it from there. Before I know it that one foot in front of the other....has turned to into a dance. The breakthrough has begun.

If it’s a dance from the heart, a dance from the soul, or a physical dance....it’s a dance.

It’s a place of letting go and letting God. It’s such a precious place to be.

Shall we dance?

When your tears are your prayer

I was thinking about a precious lady I met years ago on one of my singing tours who had just been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer. Her heart was broken, she was paralyzed with fear. I remember during ministry time she came up to me and fell into my arms sobbing...she then whispered in my ear....”I don’t know how to pray those big worded prayers that God hears, so what do I do?” I remember holding her face in my hands and telling her those tears were her prayer, her hearts cry was a prayer that went straight to the heart of Jesus. I am always taken back to that time when no words come....only the cry of my heart. God has never failed to hear that cry and come running to my rescue. Some of the greatest miracles in my life came when all I could say was “Jesus help!”, or when tears took over and words couldn’t come. Those tears were all I had.....God knew. Oh and did I mention that the precious lady I got to know that evening is serving God today....cancer free! ....He hears the cry of your heart, and He will coming running....He will answer....a miracle awaits!